Woman arrested for stinking up bathroom and closing down restaurant

CHARLOTTE, NC – Police and fire-paramedics were called to a restaurant when it had to close its doors early on Tuesday evening after a woman spent 45 minutes in the bathroom causing ‘unbearable, inhuman stench’.

The 34-year-old woman kicked open the restaurant doors, shouting “out of the way, I’m prairie-dogging!” and ran through the dining area, which was at capacity.

“We were so crowded, people were waiting up to two hours for a table,” says the hostess. “In comes this crazy woman, already smelling like she dumped in her pants, running towards the bathroom.”

One customer adds, “I couldn’t breathe. I knew she was in there blasting fudge monkeys, but the smell was toxic. I thought I was going to have to take my son to the hospital, I  thought he was exposed to sulphur. This woman is a monster, human beings are not capable of something so foul.”

The first responding firefighters had to gear up with oxygen tanks think there was some sort of gas or chemical leak. “Never in my 30 years on the job have I seen anything so rancid,” states the Fire Chief. “It was dangerous sending my guys in there. These men are heroes.”

The woman was arrested for domestic terrorism and held on $1500 bail.

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