Sex, Drugs and Midget Biting Monkeys: A Vegas Concierge’s Confession to Secrets of the Super High Rollers

When it comes to Las Vegas, there is no shortage of crazy stories and bizarre things people get up to. But there is another level, a level so secret that only the elite and super rich get to experience it. It all goes down in the super high roller suites of Las Vegas’s most famous casinos. Where the suites are treated like international waters, in that ‘there are no laws’ and every desire can and will be catered to.

For the past 30 years, David, a veteran concierge now retired, was catering to the beck and call of the world’s super rich. “We call them White Whales,” said David. “They are the greatest of the high rollers and are some of the richest people in the world. They can lose anywhere from $20-30 million at the tables during their stay. And it’s my job to keep them here as long as possible.”

To do this, David must provide exactly the experience the guest wants for the times when they are not throwing their money away at the tables. And they only instruction from management is that he can never tell the guests ‘NO’.

Here are some of Davids wildest and most bizarre requests he has had. 

4. It was not long after the smash hit The Hangover came out that I had a guest flying in from New York with a group of friends. My job was to arrange for some roofies and to have Zach Galifianakis come party with them whilst in complete character as Alan. A quick visit to a local chemist friend and arranging a seven-figure cheque for Zac was probably one of the tamer ones I have had to do.

3. One of the funnier ones was from a man we all called the cocaine cowboy. He was a regular and would come stay at the casino almost once per month. We all loved him as he was a big tipper. He made his money from oil and wore a big cowboy hat and just loved the cocaine. This one time I had to organize for skimpy wrestling outfits and 10 high-end escorts. The cherry on top was arranging Michael Buffer to attend his suite and call the ‘event’. A few of us were outside the door and we hear Michael yell ‘Let’s get ready to rumble’. We just could not contain ourselves.

2. I had a group of Elite Japanese businessmen come and stay. Upon their arrival in the suite, I was instructed to have 50 yards of clear plastic garden roll, 17 blonde escorts and 100 bottles of Perrier sparkling water. With all that water I assumed they were just going to have a marathon sex session. However, it was not until the next day when the maid went to make up the room that the full extent of what they did was made evident. Needless to say, the room needed to be vacated for 3 weeks whilst we ripped up the carpet and floorboards to remove all of the feces that had soaked through. They were charged for all of the repair costs.

1. An oil sheik and his entourage had booked out a number of suites and rooms and was hosting a large party on one of the nights during his stay. We brought in a famous DJ, had the best alcohol money could buy and had to arrange for a petting zoo with naked midget woman painted in gold to walk the animals around on leashes.  Midgets are not as common as you think. The night escalated after a monkey leaped up on one of the midgets and bit her on the breast. A quick trip to the emergency room, a rabies shot and a few stitches later, she has a great story to tell.