Jackson man avoids charges after 20 pig eyeballs were found inside his rectum

A 51-year old man from Jackson, Mississippi has avoided charges after he was discovered with over 20 pig eyeballs stuffed inside his rectum.
Officials made a routine traffic stop early Monday morning and got more than they bargained for when Herbert Walker, 51, stepped out of his vehicle for a field sobriety test. The officers were shocked after noticing several eyeballs sliding from his right pant leg onto the road. Fearing they could have a potential murderer on their hands, the officers quickly cuffed Walker and took him into custody.
En-route to the station, Walker admitted that he had more eyeballs stuffed up his anal cavity. However, he assured police the eyeballs were not human, but instead pig eyeballs he had pilfered from a local slaughterhouse where he is employed as a butcher. “We saw his ID tag, but we had to conduct a test on the eyeballs to confirm his story.”
“The company won’t let us take animal scraps home and instead toss them in the landfill,” Walker said in his statement. “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home so that they don’t go to waste. There’s nothing wrong with pig eyes, even though my family protest eating them they’re full of protein.”
Tests of the eyeballs confirmed Walker’s story that they were of pig origin. Walker’s employer declined to press charges, and told media that they will review their policy about not permitting employees to take home animal scraps in light of the incident.
Meanwhile, Walker has been released without charge and has been handed back the confiscated pig eyes. “Instead of being thrown in the trash, I’ll use them to put dinner on the table,” he said.